Tension
by Naidoo
Summary: When Oliver finally makes that pass at Felicity it doesn't quite as expected on Felicity's side. Plays somewhere during Season 1.


How she had actually gotten to this point she wasn't entirely sure. One moment she was nursing her massive crush which she had on her boss Oliver Queen – aka The Hood-, dreaming up all sort of kinky, sexy scenarios where they could find themselves in and the next, she was more or less in one of these scenarios. Only, she wasn't dreaming. Well, she was almost certain she wasn't. Pinching might be a very good idea right about now. But then… if she'd wake up just to realize she was dreaming…

Felicity wasn't t entirely sure how they exactly went from friends and this whole boss/EA thing to him kissing her, pent-up frustration and desire clearly noticeable. And if she was honest, she really didn't care for his reasons this very moment. What she did care about however was that she was in his arms, him kissing her and her making sure he was fully aware that she was definitely onboard with this. The last thing she needed was him all of a sudden snapping out of whatever this was, retreating and mumbling something about regrets and sorry's- Oh no, she didn't need or want that. She wanted this to continue, go and see where it would lead.

Her mind was just busy coming up with all sorts of places where this could lead to, when she all of a sudden felt him withdraw. She wanted to grab him, pull him back in, but was somehow too slow and catching up with the situation. A moment later she was staring his blue eyes and a feeling whatever would come next wouldn't lead anywhere, except to her being frustrated.

"I'm…. sorry," she heard him say, sounding surprised and confused equally. "This was completely inappropriate."

If she could, she would have hit him. But somehow she knew she'd end up hurting herself more than him.

"I guess the last couple of…" he started, but didn't get far, because Felicity was quick in interrupting him.

"Oh no, no you won't. You are not going to blame what just happened on anything that went down the past few days, or weeks with QC. Or with anything vigilante related. Or that your mother's best friend's cousin's grandfather's dog died. This, right now, had nothing to do with anything else other than what has been in the making for…ages now."

"Um…" he tried to start, but was once more interrupted by her.

"Don't. You. Dare," she said slowly, taking a steady breath after every word. She feared if she didn't she would really hit something – or someone. And the last thing she needed right now was a headline like "Starling resident billionaire attacked"

"I don't know what came over me. This was highly inap-" he started and Felicity was now feeling like really hitting something – damn the consequences.

"Oliver," warned, begging him silently not to finish whatever he was about to say.

"But," he tried to start once more, looking slightly confused.

"What is the problem with guys these days?" she asked, throwing her hands up.

"Sorry?" Oliver asked, looking confused once more.

"You are all over us, hot and sexy, pushing us against surfaces, all passion and touchy-feely one moment, just to…. stop and back off the next. What is up with that?"

"I…don't think I follow," Oliver admitted. And he looked really lost now.

"I just…uh," she started once more, almost screaming with frustration and now really hit something.

And ok, that really did hurt. But it also felt good in a way.

This night sure as hell had been…well, it could have been better to be honest.

The date she had been on earlier that night started really good, developed even better, just to…. cool down really quickly.

The guy had been hot. Not Oliver Queen hot, but he was doing alright – Oliver was a league of his own anyway. But it had been a start. After having to deal with the Oliver-Queen-Crush, Taylor was the first guy that actually registered with her in months. He was hot – as already mentioned –and funny. He also was straight forward, asking her out in a matter of seconds, on a Friday night just when she had been on her way home, after Oliver had ordered her to take care of herself and what appeared to be a flu in the making. She was just quickly making a detour to the bar to say goodnight to Sarah when he approached.

Felicity, not her usual self thanks to quite a few cups of cough syrup and other flu-redeeming medicine looked for the worst and still managed to get chat up. Not that she got chat up all the time, but she had sort of a history that it mostly happened when she was anything but glamorous or 'dolled up'.

Sarah seemed impressed, the other bartender surprised and Felicity none the wiser when he handed her his number and was gone a few moments later. Sarah would later have to actually summarize the conversation for her, since she was too _drugged up_ to actually remember what was said or what had happened really. _Oh, the glory of over the counter medicine!_

She hadn't planned on actually calling him. Also… what guy expected you to call? Usually the guy was calling and the girl was waiting. And maybe this was the 21st century and Felicity was supposed to be all female and powerful and 'go-get-them'-Cosmo Girl, but still. Some things were great the old-fashioned way. But… she had a really bad day. With Oliver nowhere around and it seeming as if he was partly back to his old ways. The ways that lead him straight to the beds of Starling's female citizens.

Of course he always said it was all just for show and for image, but seriously, what was so bad about an image that suggested one wouldn't hit the sack with someone just because she was…female. And let's be honest, sometimes that really seemed to be the only criteria that needed to be fulfilled.

So she called him and was surprised that he still seemed to remember who she was. It had been a bit over a week since he met her after all. He simply laughed and guaranteed her that she was someone you couldn't forget quite that easy. Oh, a charmer. Another one. With Oliver in her life there actually was no need for another charmer, but well…

Friday came along quickly and since she was supposed to meet Taylor more or less right after work, she decided on taking her outfit with her to the office and change there.

Judging by Oliver's reaction that evening she might have forgotten to maybe mention that she had a date. And was he checking her out? _Oh yeah,_ Oliver 'We can never be more than friends' Queen was _definitely_ checking her out. And maybe – just maybe – she stood a bit taller, as if to say _if you'd be man enough, this could be yours_.

And of course he had an opinion on her plans for the night. According to him it almost sounded as if every guy Felicity went on dates with could be a potential serial killer on the hunt for his next victim. She decided not to point out that the same could be said about the girls he slept with. You just never knew.

It took her a total of half an hour to figure Taylor out. Or rather to figure out his motives. The evening started great, with dinner at a really good place, there even was a kiss pretty early on, which so was not Felicity's style, but… she only lived once. Maybe it had been time to up the ante. But quickly after that ….things went downhill when their conversation seemed to go into one particular direction. And that direction was Oliver Queen.

Now… Felicity was used to people having a great curiosity when it came to Oliver Queen. When she went out with friends or someone in line at Starbucks noticed she worked for him they usually always asked a question or two and usually she managed to more or less confirm or deny a rumor or two about him in the progress. She was cool with it -cause let's be honest, if she wasn't his EA or working for QC in general and would meet someone who did, she'd be curious as well. But the thing was, these conversations usually got settled quickly. A yes here, a no there, finished with a shrug that spoke more than words ever could and they were done. But Taylor…. Seemed different. After 20 minutes he managed to actually more or less invite himself to one of the charity fundraisers she was supposed to attend with Oliver in the near future. And that irked her. After another 20 minutes she knew more or less that the only reason he asked her out in the first place was to rub shoulders with the rich and the famous.

When he went for the restrooms Felicity decided she was done and did what she usually wouldn't do. She got up and left. To feel less bad she threw the money for her share on the table and wrote a quick note with a pen she borrowed from the waiter on a napkin: _Don't call me_.

She could have gone home and she really considered that idea for a moment. But then she saw her reflection in a shop-window and wondered why she should put a great – and very new – outfit to waste? Maybe alcohol paired with loud music and dancing would somehow help forget the past hour. And she just knew the place where to go. After all, being Oliver Queen's EA also had one or two advantages. Like free entrance to his club. He wouldn't be there tonight anyway. It was an 'Arrow'-night, he'd be out patrolling, making sure everyone in the city would be ok. Well, everyone except Felicity. But then again broken hearts and feeling shitty didn't really fall into categories that were handled by The Hood.

Sarah had the drink on the counter before Felicity even made it to her.

And that was pretty much the last thing she remembered, before at some point – minutes, hours, who cared? – she felt Oliver pushing her up against the wall of the now deserted club and kissed her like his life depended on it.

Until of course… it didn't. And this was just what she needed after tonight. Another guy who started something and then… didn't. Ok, given Taylor had different motives, but… who cared? She was mad. At herself, at men and the universe in general.

There was silence for a moment. Neither Felicity said anything – she rather just glared at him angrily – nor did Oliver seem to want to attempt another try to explain. Not that she needed explaining. She knew what would be said, sooner or later.

"I don't know what happened tonight-" Oliver started after what seemed an eternity. Felicity was about to protest, but he held up a hand and in a movement she did not see coming shut her up by covering her mouth with his hand.

"It is obvious that your date didn't go quite as planned, or you wouldn't have been at Verdant that early in. But… what happened just now – it can't happen again. This has nothing to do with you or what you did or didn't do. I am who I am and everyone I become involved with on a more serious level is potentially in danger. As much as I'd like to take things further – and trust me I really do – I can't. I'm not stupid. I won't risk your safety and life."

Yup, exactly what she had expected he'd be saying. Sometimes men were so predictable. You didn't need to desire the vigilante to get the "It's not you, it's me speech".

They stood in front of each other for a moment, just staring at each other. Oliver still had his hand over her mouth as if he wanted her to think about his words. But eventually his hand was gone. She somehow had managed to cool down slightly. It wasn't as if she'd never heard his reasoning before. She also had given him a piece of her mind as well. But that had always been in general, never particularly evolving around her.

"Well, that is quite generous, Mr. Queen," she started in a calm voice, seeing him look at her surprised. He'd probably be expecting her to yell, or hit him again. Or not make any sense.

"But quite honestly I've had it with your idea of always putting others ahead of your own interest. You can't be with someone you care about, so you flee into nameless one-night-stands. But when will it stop? When you lie dying in an alley because one of your missions didn't work out as planned?"

"I…" Oliver started, but Felicity wasn't having any of it. He made her listen to him, now he'd better listen to what she had to say.

"Live is… full of unexpected events. Who knows whether we might not be facing a meteor hitting Earth tomorrow and killing all of us, living on it. It… whether there'll be a nuclear Armageddon and no one will survive. You could hit your head tonight and not wake up tomorrow, cause you hit it worse than you thought and died. Or… I eat nuts, all of a sudden develop an allergy and die of an anaphylactic shock-"

 _And maybe she should stop talking about death! Like now!_

"You don't know what will happen tomorrow. And neither do I. And that is the whole point. You can't just…make a decision like that for me. Fine, if you are too much of a coward to realize that what we could have would be amazing and sizzling hot. But don't talk to me as if you do me a favor. I'm still making these kind of decisions myself, thank you very much. I still decide myself who I love and who I'm willing to take the plunge for – a plunge into an uncertain future. Nothing is ever safe!"

Had she just really used the L-word? Well…. technically she hadn't said she loved him, well, not in as many words anyway. And great, what now?

But maybe he hadn't heard. Maybe if she just pretended as if she hadn't said it, he wouldn't comment on it.

Maybe!

But judging by the looks of it and how he looked at her suspiciously she wasn't supposed to be that lucky. Of course not. She never was.

So maybe the way forward it was then. Just yell at him a bit more. And yes, logic was not her best friend in situations like this. She almost felt bad for Oliver. Maybe him being single had nothing to do with The Hood but more with completely crackbrained and irrational women were and that he decided to stay as far away as possible from commitment if he wanted to keep his sanity.

"Stop finding random excuses!" she finally said, looking a mix of annoyed and disappointed. And maybe now she really should feel bad for him. But she could also just blame the alcohol if push came to shove.

"Fact is… if you want something – or someone – it doesn't matter what the risk is, because let's be honest, love is the biggest risk there is. "

And maybe alcohol also made her philosophical.

Instead of an answer she saw Oliver's lips twitch into a smirk. He'd probably agree about alcohol and her sudden philosophical talents.

"Love is the biggest risk there is," Oliver repeated slowly, smiling amused at her.

"Yeah, I was thinking of printing it on shirts and cards and making small fortunes with it," Felicity replied, laughing. "And then I'd be richer than you and you'd be working as _my_ EA."

"Sounds like you thought this through already," Oliver smirked, seeing Felicity smile at him.

"Trust me, I did."

There was another moment of silence. It was Oliver who broke it first.

"Felicity" he started, and oh no, they were back to serious. "I…I can't promise you anything. You deserve better than a guy who you can't be seen with because it will cause…mayhem. You shouldn't be living in a shadow because the guy you decided to date chooses to have nighttime activities that could get you in a heap of trouble. You should have a guy that can give you all my 'daytime' self could, without the added baggage of attention of the wrong kind…"

"You should know by now that I'm not one for the limelight. I don't care about…red carpets, couture gowns and being on the front pages of the gossip rags. I might read them, but that doesn't mean I wanna see myself in them. You… you have to have a little faith in me that whatever you are offering is more than enough in the end. Whatever you seem to think that I need, I don't need. I don't need protection and I am not looking for a knight in shining armor to rescue the damsel in distress.. I rescue myself if need to be," she smiled and wondered when exactly this whole night and their conversation had taken on such a heavy and serious tone.

She decided on making a step or two towards Oliver. This was getting way too serious for her taste. Not that she minded much. Maybe it was just time they actually talked things through. Not that she was having _any_ expectations.

"I'm well aware that you can do your own saving," Oliver grinned at her, raising an eyebrow when he noticed how close she was by now.

A moment later she was so close that he could not only smell her perfume, but all he really had to do was lean slightly forward and his lips would be on hers.

"Um…" he started, but felt her lips on his just seconds later. Looks like they were back to how this all started. And Oliver wasn't quite sure whether that was good or bad. He certainly didn't mind that much, he just felt this whole situation was not yet _resolved_. And maybe they shouldn't be doing what they were just starting once more because they hadn't really covered the grounds, so to speak and…

And maybe they really had time for that later. Much later, because come to think of it, Felicity was right –but then she usually was. He couldn't protect her from _everything_. He technically had lost that battle already the moment she joined their team.

And maybe, just maybe, he was the one who needed saving. Saving from himself or his ideas and principles.. And Felicity just seemed to be up for that job.


End file.
